The Big O

Is Omnipotence. The ability to watch whichever television channel you want. Seventy channels jostling for your attention and the remote control established securely in your vicinity. A whole TV to yourself. And one press of a red button aptly named “power” can take you into seventy different lands of: poop.

As a visitor into television land, my only question to the world is: why ain’t there nothing to watch on TV? If Negar Khan makes that mousy man win another round of roulette on any channel, I will scream my yellow lungs out! If Mallika Sherawat does not stop carrying her mammaries around like boiled eggs on a breakfast tray on EVERY news channel, my liver will soon sustain permanent damage! And when I said I looooved Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, I did NOT mean I wanted to see the movie three times a day, every day! And WHAT happened to Monday laughs on Star World? How many sets of crazy teens and hassled parents am I supposed to keep up with, apart from my own home situation???? Chugs says the Simpsons are his favourites, but you know what? They’re all yellow. Yellow ain’t funny to me! No sir! Yellow ain’t funny at all.

So I’m watching Pogo and the Disney Channel. Non-violent animated fun for cerebral ages 0-4. My kinda TV. Bob the Builder speaks very good Hindi for someone from his topographical location. So do his trucks. Catch them if you get a chance.

Update: Someone with the TV IQ of Stephen Hawking points out that it's the "petite" Sanober Kabir, and not Negar Khan, who makes mousy man win roulette. Thanks for the correction!