March 26, 2009


(good for a hoarding right outside a liposuction and plastic surgery clinic)

Patli kamar…

Tirchhi nazar…

Baanki umar…

I know what you did last summer!

March 15, 2009


Have accidentally hit upon an amazing diet plan, which involves only one visit to a dentist! Just go and get a wisdom tooth pulled out!


  1. See something tasty and fattening
  2. Eat it
  3. Become fatter


  1. See something tasty and fattening
  2. Eat it
  3. It will taste nice for a few seconds
  4. A bit of it will lodge itself in the gap at the back of your mouth
  5. Your tongue will get sprained trying to maneuver it out
  6. You will spend ten minutes rinsing
  7. You will spend five minutes brushing
  8. At night, the tiny food bit will start hurting your gum
  9. Bleary eyed, sleep deprived and half-day-pay-lossed from office, you'll visit the dentist the next morning
  10. You will have to watch a Tamil movie on a mute TV screen in the dentist's waiting room for 45 minutes
  11. The dentist will spray foul chemicals in your mouth
  12. Your tastebuds will take two hours to recover from the spray
  13. You will go back in time and NOT eat the tasty and fattening thing
  14. You will not grow fatter (unless you have a metabolism like mine)

The bone apparently does not grow back for three months after tooth removal, so you can lose a LOT of weight. Repeat cycle for every wisdom tooth, and you never have to exercise again.


March 09, 2009

Zabardast(i) Song: Tummy Bug Takes Bengaluru

Pretty French girl

attached to beep beep machines

in the Emergency Room

at a fancy hospital.


MRI shows nothing

except a tummy infection.

She's in pain

and tears.


Came to India to get

a taste of

Indian culture.

Now getting

Blood culture,

Urine culture,

Stool culture.