Please leave your housekeeping standards at the doorstep if you enter the Inkspill household, dear people. You will be made to sit uncomfortably on a pile of mattresses while your hosts type away silently at their computer keyboards. You will be fed basic food served directly from pressure cookers and kadhais, and neither the plates, nor the bowls, nor yet the spoons will match, even if there are just 3 people at the table. The rotis will be all shapes and sizes, and each roti will demonstrate varying thickness in its various "corners". If you stay long enough, I will have no option but to hang laundry about the house, and you will have to walk through a moist and fragrant curtain of kurtas and shirts as you pass from one room to another. You will get a mismatched set of pillowcase and sheets at night, and your morning tea will be made with ours, no matter when you actually wake up. We will love you, but we will be unable to express our love too much, just like Mr Khan in his movie, and just like him, we will probably not look at you when we talk to you (because we're reading our twitter feed), but we promise not to repeat words twice, or bring 500 people to restore your village of 200 while a hurricane is still on, instead of just carrying you out of there for the time being.
Now I guess the "matching towels in the guest bathroom" ideal is quite impossible to maintain for most, at least I hope nobody has the time for that anymore. But there's surely a decent standard that you can maintain as a host? Does it come naturally or is it a cultivated art? Would subscribing to Good Housekeeping help? Or can we just expect to bumble our way through life with our disgusting attitude?
Meanwhile, please oblige me by answering three questions in the comments box if you have a moment.
1. How many people in your household?
2. How many people can you host overnight (with a single or half a double mattress under them)?
3. How many people can you have over for a meal (space-wise/plates-wise, if that number is more than seating-wise)?
Don't worry, we're not going to come over. We're too busy making polygonal rotis and tweeting about them.