Yeh Shaadi Nahin Ho Sakti

The banquet hall close to office (and home) has been overactive these last few days. Grooms and brides have been enthusiastically sacrificing themselves at the altar of marriage. They are accompanied by a band that belts out the same Hindi film songs day after day.

The band’s two favorites are “Dhoom Dhoom” (Or “Doom Doom” as Papun Dada likes to call it) and “Mungda Mungda” (note the love of repeated words). We have the honor of listening to these songs played out live from morning to evening, day after day.

This routine was rudely interrupted yesterday, when the band started playing, and singing, a third song. And not just any song. This song:

Ae maalik tere bande hum
Aise hon hamaare karam
Neki par chalein
Aur badi se talein
Taaki hanste hue nikle dum

Hats, and wigs, off to the chap who saw the relevance of chanting this prayer during the groom’s journey to the wedding hall.

Bada kamzor hai aadmi
Abhi laakhon hai isme kamee

Ahaan! I almost choked on my breakfast!

Yeh andhera ghana chha raha
Tera insaan ghabra raha
Ho raha bekhabar
Kuchh na aata nazar
Sukh ka sooraj chhupa ja raha

The poor guy’s daddy must have held a gun to his head to make him marry the girl. I felt like going downstairs, kicking the reluctant groom off the white mare, and staring into his daddy’s rifle, screaming “Run Forrest Run!”