July 31, 2005

Mauled!

Went to the Gurgaon malls after ages today. One would expect that with malls opening in every locality these days, the craze for the twin monsters at Gurgaon would have abated, but that is certainly not the case.
There are certain inexplicable phenomena that are peculiar to Punju-Land:
1. Aunties in synthetic salwaar kameezes with painted faces and dyed hair (and gold edged purses and sunglasses) exploring malls with mega-bags: The only time one can wear synthetic clothing in this city is December-January, and then it needs to be covered with five layers of woolens. Believe me these are not superwomen who don’t sweat. They just ensure that perfume alleys in malls make you dizzy when you pass through.
2. New brides with fifty kilos of painted plastic around their wrists (the ghastly “chooda” that helps satellites locate where newly married Punjabi women are) sifting through clothes. Now, if I remember all the Punjabi brides have encountered in the last ten years, the only reason they got married in the first place was the shopping for clothes/make-up/more clothes/shoes/bags/did I mention clothes a wedding gives them an opportunity to shop for. Then why are they raiding the shelves again before their mehndi is gone completely? Is there scope to start a deaddiction programme for these hapless specimens? I’m going into business! Would like to partner with a divorce lawyer, because those soon-to-be-out-of-love husbands look like they could do with some help too!
3. Smaaart women with newborns, husbands, and ayahs in tow. Husband carrying baby. Ayah carrying shopping. Woman carrying truckloads of attitude and diamond-studded cellphone. Way to go baby! Enjoy your new light-weight chooda-less arms, before you slip them into synthetic suits!

9 comments:

Joker said...

hilarious observations!!! but its not just the punjabis who are like that. you can find all three categories in most places i guess.

Jasmine said...

Finally, a long post from you after a long time. I think the whole key to the crowded malls mystery is the fact that it's SALE SEASON! :)

Rash said...

Jasmine, gurgaon malls are ALWAYS crowded. Auntiejis do not need any excooz to window shop.
LOL Inky. I do miss seeing the chooda crowd here.

Anonymous said...

You are too good at your sarcasm. Even your smart women wear synthetic suits!

phucker said...

Ah.. the joys of chooda - it let's you know exactly whom to avoid hitting on. :-p!

korrals said...

this is so funny but why are u after the punjus??

Rashmi Bansal said...

hi - this is hilarious. Would like to publish it in JAM magazine. If that's OK withg you - please drop me a line at rashmi_b@yahoo.com asap.

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