September 11, 2005

Viva la Vivah

Met a friend whose parents are worried sick about getting her married off. Her complicated extended family would rather hinder than help, and between her mother’s desire to have her married off in Delhi and her astrologer’s orders to see her married this year, the situation is a mess. To top it all, no advertisement has been placed in a matrimonial column yet.

Since I was staying with them overnight, I offered to write the advert, and everyone co-operated and the blasted thing was ready in an hour. I kept casting sidelong glances at my friend, and she did not cross over from mildly hostile into livid, so I guess she did not mind my interference. Insha Allah, the ad will appear in next week’s papers (don’t bother replying if you’re the sorts who reads this blog).

Opened the matrimonials section of the paper this morning to see if I can find a suitable match for her. Headed to the Punjabi Khatri section directly, skipping my regular favorite: the cosmopolitan section, which has the funniest ads. There are a good 50 eligible mundas willing to sacrifice their lives and happiness. They’re looking for exactly the kind of girl she is. They’re fabulous packages: all handsome, all rich, all well-educated, all from status flys (I love this expression). Horoscopes will cause ninety percent of them to be rejected. (Digression: I recently matched my parents’ horoscopes online, something their parents had neglected to do. They scored 10/36, and the “passing mark” is 18/36. They now conveniently blame their late parents for yoking them together). Those who make the cut will be rejected because they are shallow people or because their cars are too small, or their houses too big.

I thought the decision would be easy for normal, middle-of-the-road people. But no. Kaun Banega Meri Saheli Ka Pati seems to run on and on like an Ekta Kapoor soap!


Jasmine said...

You forgot one 'K' each in Kkaun and Kka.

Joker said...

:)) @ Jasmine...
would you believe it - this whole sh*t has started for me. Never ever thought i'd have to blog about this! at least about myself. wait for the post.

First Rain said...

Lol ! Imagine after that Kkaun banega... if you get "Umeed se Dugna" :D !

Heretic said...

sigh! not one more!!!

My ad reads: Iyer dude, listens to sad numbers, likes ghazals and Pearl Jam. Rich, pretty, and dumb girl invited with/without horoscope. Contact at

jon said...

astrology aquarius info is so cheesy but we were looking at it anyway...why i dont know. I guess it is fun to play around online. Anyway, I saw your astrology aquarius posts and though it was cool...Alright, well...have a great night, I am back to astrology aquarius surfing LOL : )