Being in a relationship with me is very simple. I need to be woken up with a phone call every morning, where I will mumble something about having slept really late and not expect to be understood, much less replied to. Once during the day, I need talking to, where I will nicely (or not-so-nicely depending on various factors) listen to anything that is told to me, and ask a hundred questions (which are of no significance and are repeated day after day, so in a week one can answer them without reading the whole sentence). Also, I will crib about something in the near or distant future that is worrying me (it's just my way of keeping happiness at arm's length). For this, a macro can be written, and pressing Ctrl+Q will type out the reply "Kyun chinta kartey ho? Live for the present. We will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow." That is also the best way of getting rid of me, because after a round of verbal and physical abuse, I shall grant permission to leave. Not that it is needed, because I can be trained to be ok with being two-timed, three-timed, zillion-timed with any other activities that need the attention of busy and important people. At night, one more template SMS about sweet dreams and world peace will temporarily placate my anger, and I shall go to bed sooner or later.
Being me, on the other hand, is a little more complicated. How the hell would I live from day to day if I did not worry about everything in the world? Being happy ain't enuff, dude!