May 09, 2006

In Which I Jeopardize My Impending Marriage

Being in a relationship with me is very simple. I need to be woken up with a phone call every morning, where I will mumble something about having slept really late and not expect to be understood, much less replied to. Once during the day, I need talking to, where I will nicely (or not-so-nicely depending on various factors) listen to anything that is told to me, and ask a hundred questions (which are of no significance and are repeated day after day, so in a week one can answer them without reading the whole sentence). Also, I will crib about something in the near or distant future that is worrying me (it's just my way of keeping happiness at arm's length). For this, a macro can be written, and pressing Ctrl+Q will type out the reply "Kyun chinta kartey ho? Live for the present. We will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow." That is also the best way of getting rid of me, because after a round of verbal and physical abuse, I shall grant permission to leave. Not that it is needed, because I can be trained to be ok with being two-timed, three-timed, zillion-timed with any other activities that need the attention of busy and important people. At night, one more template SMS about sweet dreams and world peace will temporarily placate my anger, and I shall go to bed sooner or later.

Being me, on the other hand, is a little more complicated. How the hell would I live from day to day if I did not worry about everything in the world? Being happy ain't enuff, dude!

6 comments:

wendigo said...

please to be building an ick archive for just such passive-agressive incompletely self-and-other castigatory ones.

and hugs.

kisi ne dono ka good spirits maar liya hai :(

venusjordan said...

you're hilarious!!

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

You're quite exceptional.
A woman with such self-awareness? Awesome.

Ink Spill said...

@Wendigo: I think it's time to move too. Maikey aur sasuraal waalon ko daraane ka business risky hai!

@Amy: :)

@AQC: I take exception to your statement on two counts:
1. The public version of the self-awareness that men claim to have, on closer inspection, might equally well be called "bull crap". "I am the best" is the self-awareness that almost all the men I know have, and I am still unsure how they can be broguht to their senses.
2. Most people, somewhere deep inside, have self awareness, but cannot make it public because there is too much at stake. I do not live a life where anything is at stake when I open my mouth, or I would have lost everything I have in the world.

Prerona said...

lol @ the last line :)

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Awright, you're "take-exception"-al.