Age 5: After a blood test, you get lots of chocolates.
Age 29: After lots of chocolates, you get a blood test.
Age 19: Attendance does not matter. Knowledge is all.
Age 28: Knowledge does not matter. Attendance is all.
Ages 5, 10, 15, 20, 25: Mummy knows everything.
Ages 7.5, 12.5, 17.5, 22.5, 27.5: Mummy knows nothing.
Age 6: Boys are evil
Age 25: Evil boys are the only company worth keeping
Age 12: The human body converts carbohydrates into energy
Age 18: Some human bodies convert oxygen into fat
30 days to go before the big three oh! Expect pithy wisdom all month!