May 25, 2009

Auto Rakshas Checklist

If you're in Bangalore, please memorize this checklist and evaluate the autorickshaw before you board it:

  1. LICENSE: If it's not displayed, minus two points. If it's a tattered old photocopy, minus one point.
  2. METER: Old meter, minus one point. Old unbranded meter, minus two points.
  3. RELIGIOUS ICONOGRAPHY: Minus one point if God is easily accessible for doling out forgiveness for having fleeced passengers
  4. PROACTIVITY: Minus one for having spotted you from afar and stopped. Remember, in the auto jungle, only the predator hunts.

If all the above problems are present, move on to checklist 2

  1. AGE OF AUTO DRIVER: Minus two for being below 30
  2. LOCATION: Minus two for having been found outside a place of worship. With due respect, God would need a superb lawyer to disprove his connection with the auto mafia.

It's not a foolproof system, of course, but so far it's rarely been proven wrong.




Abhishek Saha said...

I haven't gone to such detail while travelling in the auto rakshas (rickshaws) in Bangalore but it certainly looks a sufficient list. Nice one.

sajith said...

You score yet another time.

Anonymous said...

Well, score 5 points for the passenger if they learnt Kannada. Learnt more tamil in 6 months at Bangy than 30 years at home. "CV Raman Nagar Barthira?", "Thumba helide, solpa reduce maadi saar", and best of all, "Enna saar, ungal naatrukarana overcharge pannivengala?" They worked in varying degrees, but hey, I never paid more than 60 to get from Cunningham Rd to CV Raman nagar even during the strike!
~ heretic