September 07, 2008

Can’t Bank On Nobody!

So after the grand success of the marriage registration, we moved on to step 2, getting each other's name added to our bank accounts. The husband took the initiative, and we submitted our papers one Sunday to ABN AMRO (Pronounced Yeh Bhi Hain. Aa Maro!). Fifteen days, two visits and many phonecalls later, we were told that no such request has been received. As I sat in the waiting area playing City Bloxx on the phone, the bank lady (there's only one person in the branch on Sundays, and employees take turns to do the Sunday shift) had the following conversation with my husband.


Sir, who did you hand over the form to?

One of your staff members, she was sitting in this same seat. You must have records of who did the Sunday duty on Aug 24.

What did she look like?

Umm…medium built, no spectacles….(my wife is sitting right here you idiotic woman….)

Did she have long hairs? Like till here? (pointing to hip)

(most uncomfortable) I think her hair was long…

Only one girl has the long hairs in our office, rest all have short hairs (this girl herself had fairly long hair, by the way)

I can surely recognize her if I see her…Do you have photos of all your employees? I can tell you right away!

No sir… but did she look like she was from here… was she pertaining to Bangalore?…maybe she was from here…yes

Oh then it must be XYZ!

Yeah I don't know her name….the next week on Tuesday she was sitting there (pointing to reception)

Oh PQR! You gave the form to PQR!


I have lost all hope of ever getting my golden debit card from here. The husband is also quite shaken, and we are thinking of shifting to HDFC (yeh chadhi, yeh phansi) or ICICI (Hai! Syaahi Syaahi!) bank. If you are pertaining to Bangalore and are knowing of any bank with equal hair length employees who may or may not work on Sundays but who do not lose forms, please let me know!


Zoya said...

:)))))))) LOL ! You do have a way with words lady ! Very very well written. And yes, since I do interact with ABN personnel regularly, though not 'pertaining' to Bangalore, it was like déja vu :) BTW, it is quite the same with other banks too I believe.

Zareen said...

hah! so typical. i gave up on getting my cheque book about a year ago. strange as it might sound, bank of india ki jai.
the ladies are all very adept at managing monstrous ledgers, forms are zattacked into tremendously thick files, and in 30 years of business with them i do not think my dad has ever had cause to complain.
(of course, i do not listen to him and INSIST on banking elsewhere myself, but then, see, i have to borrow money off him when my account-lady - who pertains from hell, btw - is not on duty to remember what form i last handed in. much to his amusement and my chagrin.)

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

All so eager till the account is opened, after that they tend to vanish.

And remember that ICICI lost data on a few hundred thousand accounts when Bombay was flooded.


Anonymous said...


'You do have a way with words lady !'

I fully agree.

Rash said...

nahi re...yeh chadhi, yeh phansi (rolling at that. so apt!) also has ladies with long hairs pertaining to Bangalore.

wendigo said...

ah a glimmer of my proper inky :)