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Stories heard in one’s childhood can leave a strong
impression. I can never forget one my grandfather used to tell me: about a
prince who rode up to a stream on a hot summer day, and as soon as he bent to
scoop some water to drink, a village girl dunked mud into the water. She did
this twice or thrice, and he finally asked her why. She told him cold water
drunk when one is hot and sweaty makes one ill, so she was preventing his
mistake. Impressed by her good sense, he made her his queen.
I have more than a few problems with that story of course,
but I always know better than to drink ice-cold things when I’m just out of the
blazing heat, thanks to the village girl. However, this post is not about that
story. It’s about a story that perplexes me no end as an adult: the story of
the wooden bowl, originally, I believe, by Tolstoy. It’s a simple tale:
Grandpa’s hands tremble and he spills food frequently -> son and
daughter-in-law get angry -> son makes him a wooden bowl ->grandpa
humiliated at having to eat from it -> kid sees this and starts hacking on
piece of wood -> his parents ask what he’s doing ->kid says he’s making
bowls for his parents’ old age -> parents are extremely apologetic, and
grandpa gets back crockery privileges.
Either I had magical powers to understand the emotional
aspects of this problem, or I never gave it enough thought, but I was sure it
was wrong to shift a person with a challenging condition to a tool that was
more conducive to his/her situation. The parents were just solving a very real
problem. Did they stop feeding grandpa? Did they make him clean the mess? No
and no. The son made “by hand “a dish that grandpa could use without trouble.
Did grandpa like spilling? Unlikely. So maybe the problem was that he felt
singled out. Why did the parents then solve the problem by taking grandpa back
to difficult crockery? Why not shift the whole family to wooden bowls?
It’s not a trifling matter, one’s reaction to this story. It
reflects your attitude to family, to old age, and to problems vs. emotions. It could
determine how you choose to live a large part of your adult life, and many
decisions that you make!
Personally, I just found a beautiful news story online, which
got me thinking about this childhood tale again, and if you’re feeling too lazy to click today,
a 10-year-old girl, whose father is a product designer, created a special
spill-free mug for her Parkinson-affected grandpa and her klutzy dad. She’s now looking for funding. I cannot think
of a better resolution to this story.
Do share your reaction to the tale if you’d like. I’ll be
grateful. If you think I'm dead inside, do not hesitate to point out.
