May 25, 2009

Auto Rakshas Checklist

If you're in Bangalore, please memorize this checklist and evaluate the autorickshaw before you board it:

  1. LICENSE: If it's not displayed, minus two points. If it's a tattered old photocopy, minus one point.
  2. METER: Old meter, minus one point. Old unbranded meter, minus two points.
  3. RELIGIOUS ICONOGRAPHY: Minus one point if God is easily accessible for doling out forgiveness for having fleeced passengers
  4. PROACTIVITY: Minus one for having spotted you from afar and stopped. Remember, in the auto jungle, only the predator hunts.

If all the above problems are present, move on to checklist 2

  1. AGE OF AUTO DRIVER: Minus two for being below 30
  2. LOCATION: Minus two for having been found outside a place of worship. With due respect, God would need a superb lawyer to disprove his connection with the auto mafia.

It's not a foolproof system, of course, but so far it's rarely been proven wrong.



May 16, 2009


Yet another sequel, this time from the netas instead of the abhinetas... hope this one betters the original!
(thanks Deepak for doing all the artwork!)

May 13, 2009


IPL is very closely connected to both my salary and my husband's, so don't blame me for being interested. I don't understand the game, I don't have a TV, and I have barely-there team loyalty, so it's mostly a number-fest out there as far as I'm concerned.

Here are some statistics I culled out (manually) for the last few matches. (Note that the washed-out matches were number 7 and 13!)

Toss Winners:

  • 23 won the match, 17 lost the match
  • 27 chose to bat first, 13 to field first
  • Of those who fielded first, 8 won the match, 5 lost the match
  • Of those who batted first, 15 won the match, 12 lost the match

Now this looks fairly straightforward, assuming those who make a decision after the toss have some sense and it really means something to be able to choose. But that second stat, it's very numerically skewed. Possible reasons:

  1. The pitches are good for batting first. This is probably the actual reason.
  2. Viewership is higher and more focused in the second innings of an exciting match, and sponsors urge the team to fill the field with their logos at that point. This is the theory that makes me fear I will go mad or write saas-bahu scripts in the near future.

May 09, 2009

Maike Se Aike Post

Mom: (something horrible about me, in the way only mothers can do it)

Inky: Did I come across the seven seas to hear this????

Mom: What seven seas does one cross between Bangalore and Delhi???

Inky: Why? Krishna Sagar, Shanthi Sagar, Sandhya Sagar, Upahar Sagar….



May 05, 2009

Pyar Tera Dilli Ki Garmi

The sound and the fragrance of the desert cooler reminds me of the hot hot afternoons when we used to come back from school all squished up and practically busted the poor doorbell in our hurry to get home to mommy, amazing lunch, mangoes, cool cooler air and an afternoon nap. Oh the insufferable five minutes when you had to leave the pump switched on for the grass to get wet before you switch on the fan! The crazy creative plumbing around the house to ensure you did not have to run about with a hose pipe to refill the coolers! The war with the permanently sick little sister over the room temperature! The icky colourful salt deposits that the electrician scraped out of the cooler at the beginning of the season! And the fragrance! The smell of mitti, paani, relief, shelter, childhood and love!

It's taking all I have to not go stand in front of the cooler right now and go "aaaaaaaaaa" and let the fan blades slice my jungle cry!

May 01, 2009

Making The First Move

Off to Delhi for a long-overdue holiday with the parents. Also off to vote, after a lot of thinking on the matter.

I don't think my drop-in-the-ocean vote will change anything. I don't think any of the candidates are any better than the others. I don't think I need that ink on my finger as some kind of social respectability symbol. I set the Aamir Khan "vote karo" ringbacktone on my phone just because HOW COOL IS IT TO HAVE AAMIR KHAN AS YOUR VIRTUAL PHONE-ANSWERING SECRETARY?

Despite all this skepticism, I am going to vote. Because I want to send a message out that educated, young(?), middle class people like me do care enough to vote. They will get to a polling booth (2000 kms away if needed) if you're worth it. So if you're someone who has it in you to fix the shit out there, please go and contest the elections. Don't say the dirty system will be rigged against you. I'll be there to vote for you. I cannot change the country, but I sure can put an end to this vicious circle.

If visionaries keep waiting for us voters, and we keep waiting for them, well you know what happens na? So if you're in a constituency where the elections are yet to happen, go get a blue finger!